no-class in class...

so let me be the first to suggest a class on classroom class. it's a mouthful, but having sat in so many classrooms i finally realize that it is necessary. today was my first day of M.B.A. classes; my first day with my section who i will share every class with for the next two months. everything was great except for one things--some of these people never got the memo on how to be a student. after listening to one guy make real time comments during 6 hours of lecture today, i have to find some release. so let me write that memo now.

ali shaikley's guide to classroom class:

1. no real time comments--it's called a lecture because the professor is lecturing, not because we are all asking you to give your commentary on every two words the professor speaks.

2. this is not the british parliament! in a classroom silence is agreement. when you agree, you don't say 'ya', 'exactly' uh huh' or anything ridiculous like that. of course you agree with him idiot, he's teaching you the material.

3. don't ask questions that have completely irrelevant answers. when the professor gives an example using widgets, don't ask detailed questions about the market for widgets, what firms make widgets, where to apply for a job analyzing widgets, how the futures market for widgets was looking in 1973. why not? because we don't give a damn and it is completely worthless and irrelevant knowledge. the example is just about supply and demand. if you want to research the most obscure details about widgets, go do so on your own time.

4. and related to the previous note, don't ask a question that is way to complicated for the class just to demonstrate your foolish intellectual curiosity.

5. don't try to kiss so much @$$!!! have some dignity. especially when class participation is 0% of the final grade and this professor is not going to find you a job.

6. don't huff and puff and shift in your chair till the professor calls on you. raise your hand and wait like you learned when you were three.

7. i think there should be a legislated limit on questions/comments/huff and puffs (a huff and puff counts as two things only because it is more annoying than a dumb question) per hour of lecture. if i told you that i one student in my section averages about 20-30 questions and comments and huff and puffs per hour of lecture would you believe me? either he's truly clueless or completely lost in his arrogance.

8. this is not the game taboo. if you know the answer, don't race to answer the question by yelling it out. sorry, but you will not win anything. perhaps we need to install buzzers at the desks and get alex trebek to help the professors out.

anyhow, just thought i'd give my 2 cents (or 1.15 pence) on the matter. maybe i'll publish a formal guide someday. i've been a student for so long that i am a pro, haha.